Well here I am again. I’m sure you must have read last month’s restaurant critic article. Please tell me you read it! I live for the opportunity to enlighten Ventura County residents about the joys of eating in our lovely county. Sad isn’t it? You would think at my age I would have a life, but alas this is the highlight of my month. How am I going to develop a serious following of fans if you don’t make a commitment to look for this article each month? How can I possibly be discovered by the Food Network if you people don’t take me seriously? I know, I don’t have Paula Dean’s laughter, nor do I have the cute smile of Rachel Ray and frankly Bobby Flay is prettier than me. Who needs fame when you have good food? But don’t let that stop you from sending those fan letters. And if you feel the need to contact the Food Network, far be it from me to stand in your way. Ok time to get serious about food.

I know some people don’t think of coffee as food, but you and I understand it makes the world go round. I can’t face the day without my non-fat latte with a half shot of chocolate. I know we are all allowed our own personal views so bare with me; I believe individuals who live without sugar and caffeine are aliens masquerading as humans. (You can’t trust them!)

So, let’s get down to business. Where do you get your coffee? I get my coffee where everybody knows my name (No, not at Cheers.) I get my coffee at Java 33 in Oak View. Yes we do have the other famous coffee place in our town but its missing Phyllis. Oh you don’t know Phyllis? That’s a shame. She owns Java 33 and is one of the best people I know. If you’re new in town you might not realize she does not take credit cards but don’t be concerned if you have no cash because Phyllis will tell you “don’t worry about paying, you can pay next time.” This kind of small town generosity is rare in any kind of business these days.

I go to Java 33 at least five days a week. Phyllis is always laughing, singing, and smiling. Once she has met you she will never forget your name. She will take the time to ask about your kids, your life and your significant other. Java 33 is where people gather to visit, laugh, talk and meet friends. She creates this kind of atmosphere with her kind and thoughtful nature.

She has all the usual hot and cold coffee drinks. She carries a good selection of muffins, bagels, and pastries. (Get there early on Saturday as the bagels go fast.) She also has a juicer to create all kinds of healthy stuff. I try not to drink that stuff as I might become healthy and lose weight. Good grief I just can’t picture myself thin and healthy. But if that is your choice in life don’t sit your thin body down next to me. (I can’t take the guilt.)

If you live in the valley or you are just passing through you need to stop and say hi to Phyllis and all her friends at Java 33. A good cup of coffee and good friends; what more could you want in life; unless you really are one of those aliens from another planet where they have no coffee. In that case just keep on moving, we don’t cater to critters that don’t drink coffee.